Grunge Wood

 Who Am I? 

I was born into this world the fourth generation of my family to grow up in a strict fundamental Christian cult. As soon as I turned a week old, I began to attend ten church services a week – until the day I left in 2017.

During that time, I learned that there were very strict rules about what was right and what was wrong in this world, that I could not trust my inner being, and that I would need to spend the rest of my life attempting to please what felt a very hard to please and at times cruel, God.  I found myself in what I now see as a white man’s weaponizing of faith in order to exert control. I felt suffocated.

At sixteen I became very depressed, with the whole concept of the confines of the education system and the working world, on top of the rigorous control of the cult. At eighteen I attempted to escape but didn’t feel I had enough skills to survive outside of the environment I knew, so I did my best to surrender my entire identity for the next twelve years. Through what was undoubtedly one of the darkest periods of my life.

At thirty I established I was in an untenable position, one in which there was less and less oxygen for survival and so I could either end my life or attempt life on the outside. I figured I’d try the latter first, as I could always end my life later if life on the outside didn’t work out.  In December 2022 I will have been free for five years.

Amusingly enough one of my greatest surprises about escaping is that I was far from alone in my search for freedom.  As a relative newcomer to your world, all that I share is my perspective of finding greater levels of freedom and permission to be my authentic self.

If you have any questions or comments, please don’t hesitate to use the Contact Form or connect with me on social media!

You can read more of my story in my memoir Tomorrow’s Not Promised and its sequel Make Today Count.

Grunge Wood