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A Hopeless Romantic?



The Big Four would say I was a hopeless romantic as if it was something completely unobtainable, but I wasn't settling for that.


It didn't faze me what others were doing around me, what was happening in my relationships sucked and it wasn't coming anywhere near what I believed was possible and so there could only be one thing for it.


I just needed to learn the components that would make all the difference and it turns out that's not as hard as The Big Four would have us believe.


In fact - as you've probably guessed - The Big Four know rather a lot about why my relationships were all kinds of tits up.


Firstly, most of what I knew and believed about relationships came from what I'd seen in my family.


Enter Generational Teachings.


And the advice those around me offered in exchange for a slice of the drama I shared with them.


Did you catch that? Societal Expectations just sidled in the door.


And I don't know if you noticed but all four of The Big Four are here now because Societal Expectations also brought Patriarchal Demands and Weaponizing of Religion with them.


● I knew that I was to pick one partner,

● Get it right first time,

● Marry them before I had any children,

● And live together till one of us died.


Then every box would be ticked and everyone who wasn't involved in my relationship would be happy and I would be the girl who didn't see her dreams come true.


Happily Pig-headed, I refused to believe that that was the only way of being.


So off I trotted - pig-head and all - into a London basement for three whole days to listen to an expounding on why I felt the way I did.


In brief?


Until about 150 years ago humanity had gotten into relationships for convenience, to keep land or money in the family, and marriage became a meaningful thing in an age when women had no rights.


When women could be bought, sold, and legally beaten and raped by their partners.


I do believe Patriarchal Demands and Weaponizing of Religion just popped their heads up.


The concept of getting into a relationship because you loved someone was practically preposterous.

No one got married for love, you ended up married because it was a way of joining families together with the helpful conduit of a woman, with nary so much as a consideration of her wants or desires.


Fast forward 150 years when women not only had rights but were now able to earn their own money, open their own bank accounts and own their own houses.


They were also ready to have a say over who they wanted to spend their time with and grant access to their most precious possessions - their heart, body, mind, and soul.


And somewhere along the line human consciousness figured out that that love stuff, that emotion, made us feel really good!


It was like that one condiment that just made everything taste so much richer and more flavourful.


And so, we chose to make love the reason we got into relationships instead of merely convenience.


I mean, at least largely because where I used to come from it was still pretty much about convenience but then that was one of the reasons why I'd left.


So why was it that my relationships would start out delightfully but continue to end up taking the same path no matter whether I was dating a tractor addict, a gambler, or a rock and roller?


The common denominator had to be me - that much I understood!

But as for their rapid decline into hair-tearing shrinking circles of frustration, it made no sense.


I wasn't being forced to love this person and no one had forced me into a relationship with them, so what was at work here?


Well, that would be the fact all my relationships were still being run on an operating system created by The Big Four.


The engine that powered my relationships was ownership and not love.


And the fuel that ran that engine was fear, rather than respect.


Together we would both battle for control over, power over, each other, whilst taking almost no personal responsibility.


We might have decided to come together because of love, but day after day we'd play out the Generational Teachings we had learnt from our parents.


They believing theirs were right, me believing mine were - and both were outdated.


Patriarchal Demands would remind us that there were gender roles to be played.


Societal Expectations would make it known that breaking up was unacceptable.


Weaponizing of Religion wanted to shame us for not getting it right and then for daring to try other approaches.


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Heart frequency is the frequency of the future. Some of you will find this laughable because you are so fixated on what you see playing out in 2022 that heart frequency does not feel like it is there. Yet of course that is an illusion, because many of you are distressed at what you see taking place because they do not come from the heart, they come from the human fear template or war. When you are judging, attacking, or criticizing another being you are in that same energy of war and acting it out on a smaller level, you are in the energy template that you were born into, so it is not your fault, but it's also an energy template you are ready to let go of. You are altering the hearts around you by being present in yours - people feel your energy field when they come into your orbit.
-Lee Harris


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