A zoomed out view
Seeing this kind of zoomed out view of the billions of people I was intrinsically linked to, shared DNA with, really helped me make sense of the least interesting part of my existence.
And it let me know that none of this was really personal.
It was purely about where humankind is right now, at the time I entered it.
Or as some would say - agreed to enter it, chose to enter it.
It was my 60,000 feet top-down look at life that reminded me just how connected to & similar I am to everyone else.
Now if I wanted to go about unshackling myself from the confines of the past I had a kind of gauge-o-meter to run my limiting thoughts through.
Something doesn't feel good…
Feels kinda off…
Doesn't feel freeing…
Is it a leftover from The Big Four?
Is it something I want to evolve on from?
It was like I had 4 wastepaper baskets set up in my room and when something came up I took a look at which basket to toss it into.
Thought/feeling: I'm going to disappoint my parents.
Hmmmm would that be generational teachings or societal expectations or even patriarchal demands? Or maybe all three…?
Thought/feeling: I can't think that it's wrong, which means something bad will happen to me.
Hmmmm is that societal expectations or weaponizing of religion?
And pretty quickly I began to give it even less thought, I just knew it's not something I was choosing to carry into my future.
So, I stacked the wastepaper baskets on top of each and just lobbed stuff in the one that happened to be at the top.
I couldn't be arsed to waste my days thinking about stuff I wasn't going to take into tomorrow.
Yay! Another layer freer! But now what?
Now that I'm free what am I meant to be doing?
If all that stuff is the least interesting part of my existence - how do I access the most interesting part?
Because I'd begun to see it like a flashlight - what had happened to date was the solid physical dark part of the flashlight, where I could stay if I wished.
Orrrr I could turn the flashlight on, and see my future in it's long wide dazzling beam of endless possibilities!
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In the ego mode the mind is so dysfunctional. It is always concerned with keeping the past alive, because without it - who are you? - Eckhart Tolle
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